An Adapted Pain Scale

Well I sure hope there's people other than me who think about this kind of thing. Let me set up the scenario.

You're at your doctor's office for a checkup with normal everyday pain, and the nurse asks how your pain is today. And you have to stop and think for a second because which pain scale do you use? Your own personal one or the standard one? When you have chronic pain, pain is your new normal. And normal would generally qualify as a 0 on your pain scale. Or do you say 4 or 5 which is what a normal person would say when having the same pain as you?

It's my party and I can cry if I want to.

Today I am 23 years old. I hate my birthday this year. The only thing it really marks is the fact that it's been a year and a half since I've left my house for more than a few hours a week. It has also pointed out to me that I have absolutely no friends. The last time I went out with friends? About 6 months ago. The only thing that has been different about today? A few people posted on my Facebook.  No one asked if they could take me out for dinner or plan any sort of celebration for me. My mother went to her orchestra rehearsal and my brother ignored me all day. Not that the latter is surprising as I've just found out he's apparently still angry at me for reasons I will not get into now because I'm already being horrid enough on this subject alone.

Honestly, I just have to hope that I'm going to get better. As of now, the only thing I have to look forward to is life on disability. And that's just not even close to appealing. To anyone reading this, I'm sorry. But this is the one place that I can actually state my real thoughts, maybe even to people who might be able to actually understand.