When you have chronic illness(es) you learn pretty quickly that most people don't stick around though the tough stuff. For me, that started around 3 years ago, when I was rushed into surgery due to an ovary that went into torsion (twisted) and then into necrosis (died, in this particular incident due to lack of blood flow). At that time I had what I considered some really good friends. After my surgery my mom would not let me be by myself. This was mostly because they had to cut though my muscles to get at my ovary during the surgery, and while on a regimen of pain meds, it was still pretty painful to get up and get food and whatnot. So I asked my friends to come "baby sit" me so I could get my mom to work. After a couple weeks, when I was still boring, my friends started to drop off the map. I totally understood. I WAS boring. and it wasn't that bad because while my surgery had caused me to miss almost all my finals (and most of my teachers were surprisingly cool about it), it was summer and they had stuff they wanted to do and I would see them in a few months when next semester started up. The only problem? I didn't really see them again. That was the start of my decline into POTS and DSPS even though I didn't know it.
I was always tired and I never wanted to go out. The only thing I really did was crew for shows and I even missed those a few times because I just didn't feel good. And once again, I got it. I was boring. But it was still sad for me because I had known some of these people for 10 years and they were suddenly done with me.
Being sick is hard. Being sick for a long time, without any hope of getting better, is harder. Doing it without anyone to talk to could make you break down several times a week. After I basically had to drop out of school due to chronic pain and POTS I knew I wasn't going to be socializing for a long time. The hardest thing was that no one seemed to notice I was gone. I don't really post much on Facebook and I don't have a Twitter so no one really knows (or even notices) that I'm sick. Since it is October I'm wondering if I should just put it out there what's wrong with me. Because frankly, I just want someone to care. I really can't lose much from it. I'm not applying for jobs or schools right now, and even if I were you'd have to be friends with me to see any of my posts.
I'm hoping that anyone who's reading this is having a much better time than I am.
